Not ready to commit yet but you still like him or her? Check out these surefire signs that you are not quite ready for a relationship yet.
Relationships teach you a thing or two. From falling in and out of love, getting the first-date jitters, to failing to meet expectations, relationships don’t come easy.
It requires a lot of work, commitment, and not to mention, the emotional investment that comes with it. This is why the aftermath of a breakup can get messy.
Some might tend to feel pressured to settle with the next person they find, since they are so used to the sense of stability that relationships bring. Then when they do just that, they think that they’re better off with their new relationship; they feel happier and satisfied.
These situations are super frustrating, but they beg to answer the question: “How would I know if I’m really ready for a relationship?” If you’re looking for signs, then you’ve come to the right place!
Surefire Signs That You Are Not Ready For A Relationship Yet
For some people, entering relationships is something they don’t do right off the bat. They choose to go through the “traditional process:” going out on dates, having the boy sweep them off their feet, meeting the family, and then eventually asking THAT question.
Yet, others might prefer making it official after three days of talking. Either way, the most important thing in relationships is that both parties are committed, with mutually shared love and respect. If you’re wondering if you could do all of that, check yourself by looking through these signs.
1. Having unresolved feelings from past relationships
This is honestly a no-brainer. If you find yourself constantly thinking about your previous relationship and evaluating the whole thing, then you definitely should stop yourself from committing! Having unresolved feelings not only compromises the quality of the relationships you’re about to form, but this would most likely take a toll on the other person. They would feel like you and your past are a huge burden, and they can only take so much.
2. Being unhappy with oneself
We enter relationships not because other people make us happy, but because they make us happier (Yes, there is a huge difference!). If you struggle to look for the finer things in life on our own, you tend to look for it in other people. Sometimes, you could even force them to be something they are not, just so you could satisfy yourself.
Take a step back and breathe; make an effort to pull yourself together and out of this massive hole that tries to bring you back to bed everyday. We don’t leave things by chance, and we don’t just wait for the time to come that we’re eventually healed; we work for it.
3. Wanting to explore other aspects in life
One of the things that comes with being single is the freedom to do anything you want. Having plans to study abroad? No problem! Wanting to shut the world out just because? No one’s going to keep on texting you!
If you are longing to try things you’ve never tried or do things you never imagined you’d do, you’re better off with yourself right now. Being in a relationship means being tied down to one person and making plans together, leaving little to no room for independence. You might be getting butterflies now, but don’t jump on that lovey-dovey train just yet!
4. Getting bored easily
After getting out of that relationship, you might have that impulse to talk to anyone and everyone. Don’t get me wrong, there’s nothing to be ashamed about that! But if talking to a person feels like a dead end and you continue to skip from one date to another, you might think twice about settling down.
The wonderful thing about being single is that you have the time to absorb everything you learned from your past relationship. Seize this opportunity and re-evaluate what you really want in a partner!
5. Having trouble communicating
To come from a relationship wherein it’s hard to speak your thoughts for fear of being shot down, or to experience being told to just shut up about things that bother you could really affect you and your future relationships. These could result to troubles in communicating, and if you find yourself in that situation, back it up a little bit!
In relationships, communication is key. Having a partner you can’t tell things to would only result to unresolved problems and pent-up emotions, among other things. Before you even know it, you realize that you’re back to square one – having to deal with the messy post-break up.
How To Tell Someone You’re Not Ready for a Relationship Yet
You’ve already gone on five dates with this person, and then you decide that you’re not ready to commit. As someone who went through the devastating process of the break up, you try your best to let them down easily. You’ve been hurt before, and you don’t wish that on others, of course!
Just like what makes a great foundation for a relationship, it is important that you tell them how you really feel. There’s no use in going in circles or leading them on now, you’ll eventually be cutting ties anyway. People appreciate honesty, and that’s the only thing you have to do.
People tend to think that they are responsible for however others react to what they say, but – news flash – we are only accountable to the things we do and say. If others take it a certain way, that is beyond our control! Don’t let anything stop you from expressing how you really feel. You’re not only doing this for yourself, but you’re also sparing the other person from unnecessary pain and trauma.
Before anything else, it is important to know where you stand; in this case, emotionally. No one wants to waste another 6 or 10 months with someone they don’t see a future with. Because apart from time, energy and emotions are also invested into something that won’t even last. Relationships are hard to find and harder to maintain, you just have to find the person who’s worth all the pain.
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