Looking for tips for getting over your first love breakup? Your first broken heart is only temporary. Here are tips to deal with your first breakup.
It may seem that the world has lost its color, everything you eat is bland, and all you can listen to is Adele. Yes, breakups suck, especially if you’ve never had to go through them before. Although it’s hard to imagine yourself at a better place right now, give this a shot and read on to see how you can get over your first real breakup.
How to Get Over a Breakup (That Was Your First Real Relationship)
How long does it take to get over your first breakup?
No one wants to feel sad all the time, so it’s completely valid for you to want this to end as soon as possible. However, the reality is that you must give yourself enough time to grieve the relationship and to accept that it’s truly over – and both things are easier said than done.
While the timeline for getting over a breakup varies for each person, studies have found that it takes about three months for a person to feel a bit better after a breakup. One of these studies found that their participants started feeling a lot better after around 11 weeks.
Again, while these studies have some merit, there’s no fixed amount of time for moving on, since a lot of factors can affect your healing process, including personal histories or the reason for the breakup itself.
Does the first break up hurt the most?
In a lot of ways, yes, your first breakup could be the most painful one. This is primarily because it might be your first time experiencing such a great emotional loss.
When that relationship started, you accomplished multiple milestones with that person. You went through a lot of firsts together, and you had high hopes about a future with them. That said, it’s completely understandable for you to be heartbroken over not seeing any of those expectations pan out.
From a slightly more scientific perspective, breakups are difficult because when you’re in a serious romantic relationship, your brain releases all these feel-good chemicals.
As social creatures, it’s only natural for humans to crave those happy chemicals, so when a relationship ends and that supply is abruptly cut, they’d feel lost and broken. Turns out love really is like a drug.
Tips To Get Over Your First Love Breakup
1. Accept that it’s over
The first and hardest step in getting over a breakup is accepting that the relationship is over. To do that, take some time to reflect on why the relationship ended.
Although this seems like you’re dwelling on the past, studies show that looking back on the relationship could help you process the things that happened better, which in turn could help you accept it faster. Just remember that acceptance takes time, so it’s okay to allow yourself to feel sad for a little while.
2. Stop putting them on a pedestal
There’s a difference between evaluating the relationship and grieving every single thing about it. When you allow yourself to do the latter, you’re putting yourself at higher risk of wearing rose-colored lenses whenever you think about your ex. In other words, don’t just focus on the good things that you no longer have, because then you might also fail to hold them accountable for the breakup.
3. Focus on yourself
Although introspection could be good, you should know when to take a break from thinking about the breakup. Now’s the best time for you to be giving yourself the care and attention you deserve. Think of things that you genuinely enjoy doing and allow yourself to indulge a bit. If a new hairdo will lift your spirits, then go for it!
4. Talk it out
Going through a breakup also means losing one of your closest friends, so you should surround yourself with people you trust and love. Not only will they keep you from feeling alone, but they will also be there for you whenever you just need to vent.
5. Distance yourself from your ex
As best you can, try to shield yourself from seeing pictures or posts from your ex. Put them on your mute or unfollow list or just unfollow them completely. Definitely try to avoid seeing him or her for a while. Don’t ask for updates from mutual friends. Focus on living your best life, not trying to keep up-to-date with theirs.
It feels like you’re in the eye of the tornado right now, but everyone who has ever gone through a breakup can tell you that the best thing you can give yourself is time to heal. As trite as it may sound, trust that this, too, shall pass.